


A Tragedy In Five & A Half Parts

by punkcowboy



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Grief, Grieving, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Substance Abuse, Reginald Hargreeves A+ parenting, Unreliable Narrator, Vanya’s POV, ben is dead, my poor bb, or vanyas persepective of it anyway, this is about the aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 04:38:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18328781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkcowboy/pseuds/punkcowboy
Summary: Vanya eyed the clock warily. This was the final stretch- it was now or never if she actually wanted to get this thing done. Letting out a sigh, she sat forward and moved her hands to hover over the keys.Tick. Tock.She started to write.-AKA. Ben died. This is a study in how his siblings grieved, written from Vanya’s perspective in the form of an excerpt from her novel.





	A Tragedy In Five & A Half Parts

**Author's Note:**

> an idea I had that I’m not sure I pulled off too well, bUT I tried real hard and am at least a little proud, so I hope you enjoy reading!

Tick. Tock.

 _Vanya_ _leaned_ _back in her chair, rubbing at her eyes before resting her hands gently on the table, at either side of her typewriter. By her left arm sat a half empty cup of coffee that was almost certainly lukewarm by this point. By her right arm, lay the almost finished manuscript for her autobiography._

Tick. Tock.

 _She had been writing furiously all night. Today was the deadline she had set for herself, and she was determined to get it finished before the clock struck midnight. She would go back and edit, checking over grammar, spelling, etc. before sending it off to any publishers, but for now she just needed it all to be written._  

Tick. Tock.

_She had one more chapter to go. She’d  been delaying it for weeks, as she knew knew it would be the hardest to write- both emotionally draining, as well as the fact that if nothing she had said before now had made her siblings despise her, then this certainly would._

Tick. Tock.

_Vanya eyed the clock warily. This was the final stretch- it was now or never if she actually wanted to get this thing done. Letting out a sigh, she sat forward and moved her hands to hover over the keys._

Tick. Tock.

_She started to write._

_________________________

 

After Ben’s tragic death, my siblings and I all had a hard time coping. Nobody was allowed out of the house for months- no missions, no press meetings, nothing. It didn’t make much of a difference to me as I never left the house anyway, however having the others around the whole time was a change to the routine.

Despite the close quarters, I was still an outsider- an observer to their grief, their pain. While Ben had been my brother, and I truly did love him as such, the environment we grew up in- and more specifically the lack of relationship I was allowed to have with my siblings- meant that I felt disconnected from the reality of the situation. The medication I take for my nerves, which essentially dulls my senses in an attempt to keep me calm, may also have contributed to my lack of understanding.

As a result, I observed the ways my other siblings coped instead of grieving myself. Damaging as that may have been to my own mental health, I’m sure, it did lead to me noticing something interesting. Now, bear with me here.

There are said to be five stages of grief. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Each one of my brothers and sister seemed to display a separate one of these, as if they were all part of a whole person, trying to get over the horrifying death that had rocked our entire world off its hinges.

-

**One- Denial**

Luther was always the leader. While not necessarily the oldest, considering we were all born on the same day, he certainly acted as if he was. He was the first that Father adopted (bought) the biggest and the strongest and the most loyal to his ‘cause’. He trusted him entirely, and always berated us if we were upset or frustrated at him.

“Father knows what he’s doing,” he would say. “Everything he does is for us.”

Trust, he told us. The only one who even somewhat shared his view was Ben. Ever the diplomat, Ben didn’t necessarily follow dad blindly like Luther did, but he didn’t openly detest him either. He wanted to believe he was a good man, despite the glaring evidence that he was not. He gave everyone hope though, that maybe, just maybe, this was all worth it. He wanted to have a family in us, and so family we tried to be.

And then Ben died, and Luther was left the only one clinging to some sense of home.

-

** Two- Anger **

Just as Luther was always the leader, Diego was always trying to be. Pushing, fighting to be seen as the one in control, who knew what to do, when to do it, and always with a plan in place. He strove to be in charge- always angry that he wasn’t Number One. Therefore, the way he reacted to Ben’s death was no surprise.

Diego has always been angry, but until then it had been directed at Luther- a rivalry carefully constructed by our father, no doubt, but a rivalry nonetheless. Now, though, there was no direction to his rage. No purpose except to grieve.

Eventually, he channeled it towards our father. He acted out, he refused to go on missions set by dad and instead chose to sneak out at night on his own missions, patrolling for hours and returning as the sun was rising, always with new cuts and bruises, covered in blood- whether his or someone else’s, he would never say.

He didn’t say anything before he left for good either. No note, just an open window and an empty bed.

-

** Three- Bargaining  **

To the best of my knowledge, Allison had never been that close to Ben. All her limited amount of spare time was either spent with Luther, or in a group. She never spent time alone with him. However, that doesn’t mean that she didn’t love him, or grieve for him. You don’t have to be someone’s best friend, or their closest confidante, to mourn for them. And mourn she did.

I think it was a shock to her. It was a shock to everyone, granted, but for Allison- well, she was used to getting everything she wanted. All she had to do was ask. But this, there was no coming back from, no bargaining- no spell she could cast on anyone to make this go away.

Her way of coping was to get out, to start fresh and leave the Umbrella Academy behind. Instead of fist fights and disobedience, like Diego, she chose to use her words. Or, more specifically, her power.

It was easy for her, I’m sure. All she had to do was utter a couple sentences and she could get anything. She got the acting career she’d always dreamed of, modelled for high end magazines and got the perfect husband. Even had a child, a beautiful daughter. She had everything. Has everything.

The only thing she couldn’t seem to do was bring back the dead, and although I was never truly a part of the group, I think I knew my sister well enough to know that that will always eat away at her.

-

** Four- Depression **

Klaus was never the happiest of kids. Maybe it had something to do with seeing literal ghosts everywhere he went. That can’t have been easy, and it’s not like any of us were there to help him- we were all dealing with our own shit, thanks to dear old dad and his fabulous parenting skills.

Diego, Klaus and Ben were always the dream team. They had each other’s backs, and not just when they were on a mission. There was a bond between them, the closest to true brotherly affection that any of us could possibly get. Diego would sneak into Klaus and Ben’s room whenever he could, and I could always hear the three of them talking late into the night.

Klaus turned to drugs at some point when we were around 13. I don’t know exactly how or when it happened, I just know that there was a point where he started coming downstairs in the morning after sneaking out, with a dopey look and eyes far away. Ben and Diego were the ones who talked to him about it, who tried to convince him to get clean. And he tried, he really did, for a while. There was screaming and pleading and tears, angry whispers behind closed doors, and nights where he would give into temptation, but the two of them would always help him through. It might have really worked eventually, who knows.

But then Ben died and Diego left the Academy, and Klaus was left alone.

He turned to drugs, and fell hard. There wasn’t a single day after Ben’s death that he wasn’t high off his head. Whilst before it had been mostly alcohol, at worst weed, now he was just taking whatever he could get a hold of- he didn’t care, didn’t want to know, just desperate to get something else in his system so he could be perpetually high. He was deep in the rabbit hole, with no-one even trying to pull him out.

Dad stopped putting him on missions, said he needed to get his act together, stop being such a disappointment. That, unsurprisingly, just pushed Klaus further away, tumbling further down into the pit he was in. 

I don’t know how Klaus is doing nowadays. Maybe he’s made a decent life for himself, managed to kick the habit for good. Maybe he finally pushed his body too far and he’s lying dead in a street somewhere. 

Or maybe he’s just the same as when he left, wandering through life, mind barely clinging to the reality that he’s trying so hard to escape from. 

-

** Five- Acceptance **

By the time Ben passed, Five had already left. I can’t claim to know for certain how he would have reacted, however I have a pretty good idea, considering the amount of time we spent together.

I said earlier that Diego, Klaus and Ben were the dream team. If he wanted to, Five could very well have been a part of that- they never excluded him, like they did me. To put it simply, and perhaps a little crudely, Five always had a sense of superiority. He kept himself separate from the others. Not necessarily sticking his nose up at them, but definitely keeping distance between them.

However, he and I, we got on well. He tried to portray the image that he though he was better than everyone, and maybe he did- after all he was, it could be argued, the most powerful in the Academy- but in the end he was still just a child like the rest of us. And children strive to be heard. And me? I was always willing to listen.

As I mentioned before, I wasn’t allowed to have much of a relationship with my siblings. But Five- Five was never one for following someone else’s rules. Any time away from dad, we would spend together- sitting in silence and enjoying each other’s company, or, if not that, he would talk and I would hang onto every word he said.

One of the things he told me was that he knew one of the Academy was bound to die on a mission. It sounds harsh, I know, especially coming from a child about his own siblings. But we were never very conventional.

You have to understand, it wasn’t coming from a place of malice. Five was always logical about things. He wasn’t emotionless, per se, but he certainly approached things more analytically than with feelings. The missions they went on were dangerous, and with danger comes the chance of death, he would say.

I agreed, and still do agree, with him- for obvious reasons- though it hurts to admit. With the amount of missions they went on, and the fact that although they were ‘trained’ and had powers, they were still just children, it stood to reason that one day, at least one of them wouldn’t be coming back.

That’s why I think he would have accepted it. He would have grieved, missed Ben more than he’d be willing to admit, but in the end he always knew more than any of us that the risks were high. The chances of all Seven of us making it to adulthood was always going to be slim, and he was the only one willing to face up to that fact. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y’all enjoyed! Feedback is always greatly appreciated, so feel free to comment!💖✨
> 
> (I feel like the ending is a bit abrupt? Should I change it?) 
> 
> In other news, SEASON TWO HAS BEEN CONFIRMED AND BEN IS GOING TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER, GUYS I’M SO! FREAKING! HAPPY!


End file.
